RETIREMENT

 I want to retire before I expire
And do what I like the best.
So I and my spouse have a brand new house
In the Pacific Northwest

 For each of our acres I am the caretaker.
“Keeper of Keys” to the shop.
All those square feet are mine to keep neat;
To mow, to sweep, and to mop. 

I am the pet sitter; I change the cat litter,
And keep an eye on the dogs.
I try really hard to keep up the yard,
And avoid people who jog.

I own a lawn tractor and a trash compactor.
I have my own chipper-shredder.
There are two workbenches and all kinds of wrenches.
Life couldn’t be any better.

It gives me a thrill to make holes with my drill
And do things for my wife to impress her.
Repair broken chairs, stop squeaks in the stairs,
Or fix sticking drawers in a dresser.

 I know all the rules about using tools
I treat them with love and affection
I really should mention, now please pay attention,
I have GPS for direction.

 I do some housekeeping (the carpet needs sweeping).
There’s work wherever I look.
We have dirty dishes and Mary Lou wishes
That I would to learn how to cook.

I think you can tell I’m doing quite well
And I have one or two core requirements.
To do things my way almost every day
  And work at this thing called retirement.

 W. Bayless